Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I Need You: A Story of Attachment

A grandfather had taken his two year old grandson to the beach for the first time. And as he took him to the water’s edge, he held out his index finger for toddler to grab hold of. The little boy reached up and held onto the very tip of his finger as they walked slowly a few steps into the moving water.

The grandfather could see the anxiety and excitement building in the child and noticed the boy consistently looking back and forth between the water and himself; checking to make sure everything was ok. 

The little boy was using his grandfather to know that everything was going to be ok as they stepped further and further into the water.

As the water approached chest high level for the child, he continued to hold onto the very tip of his grandfather’s finger. 

It was imperative for him to maintain a connection and the grandfather could see his grandson using him to regulate the anxiety caused by the oncoming waves of water. 

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Mark A. Kaupp, Psy.D., 
Marriage, Family Therapist, License #MFC33213.

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