Couples Challenges: the Series - In-laws

The old saying, “You’re just not marrying me, you’re marrying my entire family” can be more true than one thinks. On one hand, this could be wonderful; the more the merrier. However, more time than not, this can be dangerous for the couple.

Many cultures embrace the inclusion of the extended family in a powerful role with the couple. Relatives may help with childcare, offer emotional and financial support, and contribute with household tasks and chores to name just a few. All of which can be wonderful. 

However, what if one member of the couple feels threatened by the blurred boundaries and seemingly intrusive presence? 

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For more information please visit my website at:

http://DrKauppTherapy.com

or at my blog:

Couple's Therapist Blog

Mark A. Kaupp, Psy.D., 

Marriage, Family Therapist, License #MFC33213.

How to Get Your Husband into Couples Counseling

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Although there is a slight change in the trend, women are the primary initiators of counseling. Perhaps it's because, in our culture, women are raised to be responsible for relationships. Or maybe it's because men see counseling as a sign of weakness and they don't want to “talk about their feelings.” Whatever the case may be, women do call to set up more therapy sessions than men.

But, what do you do if your husband or boyfriend doesn't want to go to couples counseling? You're unhappy, feel the two of you could improve your communication skills and don't like the direction the marriage is heading. Maybe you don't feel he is hearing how serious the situation is. Whatever the reason, he just won't go to counseling.

Here are a few tips to try and increase your chances of getting him into couples counseling:

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Mark A. Kaupp, Psy.D.,

Marriage, Family Therapist, License #MFC33213.

http://DrKauppTherapy.com

or at my blog

http://sandiegocoupletherapistblog.blogspot.com/

I Need You: A Story of Attachment

A grandfather had taken his two year old grandson to the beach for the first time. And as he took him to the water’s edge, he held out his index finger for toddler to grab hold of. The little boy reached up and held onto the very tip of his finger as they walked slowly a few steps into the moving water.

The grandfather could see the anxiety and excitement building in the child and noticed the boy consistently looking back and forth between the water and himself; checking to make sure everything was ok. 

The little boy was using his grandfather to know that everything was going to be ok as they stepped further and further into the water.

As the water approached chest high level for the child, he continued to hold onto the very tip of his grandfather’s finger. 

It was imperative for him to maintain a connection and the grandfather could see his grandson using him to regulate the anxiety caused by the oncoming waves of water. 

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For more information please visit my website at:

http://DrKauppTherapy.com

or at my blog:

Couple's Therapist Blog

Mark A. Kaupp, Psy.D., 

Marriage, Family Therapist, License #MFC33213.

How to choose a Couple Therapist

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With couples divorcing and splitting up at the highest rate modern time, quality couple therapy is a must. And, finding a qualified couple therapist is essential. 

Only 14% of therapists in the United States that state they do couple therapy have actually had training in how to do couple therapy. 

Most therapists claiming to be competent in working with couples are applying training they received in working with individuals to the couple dynamic and think that this will work; it doesn’t. 

Here is a quick list of things to ask a potential couple therapist during the interviewing process.

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For more information please visit my website at:

http://DrKauppTherapy.com

or at my blog:

Couple's Therapist Blog

Mark A. Kaupp, Psy.D., 

Marriage, Family Therapist, License #MFC33213.